kellyg8r

I’m Southern. I say y’all. I practice my religion twice weekly in the fall: Saturday services are held pretty much all day beginning with College Game Day; Sunday services are at church, where I repent from Saturday’s indiscretions. Steve Spurrier will always be my hero, and I still feel badly for all those Auburn boys whose books got destroyed in a fire before they could finish coloring them. I refuse to chop at a Braves game, but I will chomp in rhythm with the war chant. Ohio State will forever be known as The University of Florida at Columbus. Any man with hopes of taming me must love grits, black-eyed peas and the SEC and believe in states’ rights.
Kirk Herbstreit interviews Jameis Winston

Thoughts on Kirk Herbstreit’s interview with FSU quarterback Jameis Winston

ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit interviewed Florida State quarterback and 2013 Heisman winner Jameis Winston on his “miraculous” season with Florida State and all his off-the-field issues.

I just happened to have the TV on Sunday morning when the interview aired, and following the viewing, decided to post my thoughts to Twitter.

My tweets following the Jameis Winston interview on ESPN on Aug. 3.
My tweets following the Jameis Winston interview on ESPN on Aug. 3.

It apparently took two days or so, but eventually my comments were “discovered” by #FSUTwitter. If you’re not familiar, #FSUTwitter is a hashtag apparently used to flood the mentions of anyone who dares talk down about the Seminoles with vulgar and often stalker-ish personal insults. Feel free to review my mentions for examples, but I refuse to acknowledge their behavior individually.

Some common themes:

“You can’t back up your comments with facts.”

Well, duh. My thoughts are simply that: my thoughts. They are based on opinions that I form by observing the behaviors and listening to the words of others, such as Jameis. Just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean that I’m less right or you’re more right.

“He wasn’t convicted of anything.”

Neither was OJ Simpson. Neither was Casey Anthony. I’m sure throughout history there are numerous individuals who have committed nefarious acts but were never charged, convicted or maybe never even arrested. There are also many others who are simply of questionable ethics and morals, but it isn’t always a criminal act that warrants criminal punishment.

Further, it is no laughing matter to be investigated or questioned about vandalism, theft or rape. His jovial attitude, frequent laughter and claiming the world was out to take something from him did him no favors. If I was in charge of his publicity, or even better, his parent, I would advise him to address the seriousness of those situations.

The best response would be to acknowledge that even the appearance that he could be involved in such behavior is troubling to him, because he wants to uphold a higher standard. And then when he promises to do better, as he did at one point last year, actually do better. Don’t go out and commit yet another crime or exhibit “poor judgment” again.

“You live in a glass house. Look at Aaron Hernandez.”

If anyone has followed my tweets at all, he would know that I have never defended Aaron Hernandez. In my opinion, Hernandez is a sociopath incapable of empathy or the understanding of right and wrong, and there’s no better place for him than prison. I’m deeply disturbed that he was associated with my football team and my alma mater.

However, this isn’t an either/or situation. Whether or not Aaron Hernandez is a criminal has zero bearing on whether Jameis Winston is a decent human being or not. It is entirely possible that I could have negative thoughts and feelings about one of our former football players while also having negative thoughts about an FSU player.

“You’re a Gator. You’re just biased/jealous/a hater.”

It is true that I would dislike Jameis Winston even if his behavior matched that of Tim Tebow’s. Only, in that case, I would simply dislike him because he’s a good athlete who beat my team in football. But my tweets about him didn’t mention his football team at all. I never even used “FSU”. My thoughts on Jameis Winston, in this case, are purely related to my perception of his character and attitude.

I don’t care if you win the Heisman, a national title or any other award. Your character and attitude are more important. This goes for players on the teams I like on down to our most bitter rivals. I find it ridiculous that we allow people who are even remotely involved in bad or criminal behavior to be treated like gods because they can throw/catch a football or out-run everyone else to score TDs.

“4-8.”

This is my absolute favorite of the arguments. Because we all know that one bad year in football is a logical argument against anything.

So, in conclusion, I hope that some of the #FSUTwitter psychotics can comprehend what I’m saying here. I’m not overly optimistic. If your own life/self-worth revolve so much around football that you’d spend your entire day trying to tweet someone to death, well… you may want to get some more hobbies.

And, I’m insanely glad that there isn’t a #UFTwitter. Let’s never start one. We have more important things to do in life, Gators. But I do thank the #FSUTwitter fanatics who boosted my Klout score and followers over the past 24 hours.

Florida Gators v Miami Hurricanes

Friendly wager on Florida-Miami: let the trash talk begin

I’m so confident the Florida Gators will beat the Miami Hurricanes on Sept. 7 that I’ve made a friendly wager on Florida-Miami with a good friend from Missouri, @LorenzoButlerPR.

On the off chance my Gators let me down, I could be sporting that God-awful green and orange for a week.

Per the terms of our agreement, when Florida wins, Lorenzo will don the orange and blue, take a photo and make it his Twitter avi from Sunday, Sept. 8 to Sunday, Sept. 15. Smile is optional.

If by some miracle of God, Miami pulls out a win against my Gators, I’ll be forced to find some hideous green and orange (maybe even something with that big ol’ dumb bird on it), take my own photo (I certainly will not be smiling) and make it my Twitter avi for the aforementioned week-long period.

The trash talk has already begun…

Twitter trash talk 1

Twitter trash talk 2

God, I love football season.

Pink Football

A plea on behalf of all female football fanatics

I absolutely love football. I know the difference between the A gap and B gap. I can tell you when a defense is playing zone or man coverage. I’ve threatened to miss a best friend’s wedding because it butted up to kickoff for my Gators football game. (Fortunately, it was a short ceremony, so I just spent most of the reception in the bar at the country club.) I did miss a bridal shower because it was on a game weekend. I love a good football watching party at DBA Barbecue, but let’s not let the party get in the way of the actual football viewing. (When the TV timeout is over, stop talking to me.)

My live-in ex once asked me if I wanted to go see a movie on a Saturday evening in the fall, to which I replied, “Are you kidding me? Georgia’s playing Tennessee. Why would we go to the movies?” I once debated for 20 minutes with Florida Gators running back Chris Rainey whether Steve Addazio was insane trying to run a little scatback like him up the middle time after time instead of throwing him a pass out of the backfield.

Given what can only be called an addiction to football, I’ve long felt the need to make a public plea to other females who may not be so pigskin-inclined. Ladies, please, listen up. I speak on behalf of female football fanatics everywhere.

  1. I’m coming to your football party to watch football, not to hang out in the kitchen gabbing about celebrities and makeup while the boys watch the game. Please leave me be.
  2. A football game is a sporting event, not a fashion show. Leave the dresses at home. And for the love, buy a shirt in your team colors. Pink is not a color for any NFL or NCAA team I’ve ever seen. Just stop it.
  3. If you don’t know about football, just sit there and be quiet. The last thing you want to do is stand up and cheer when your team (and I use that phrase loosely since I know you’d rather be doing your nails) scores a touchdown that’s about to be called back due to a holding penalty.
  4. I will host a football party at my house. But come kickoff, mi casa es su casa. Help yourself, because I’m not missing 4th and inches to refill your drink or mix up more dip.

So that’s my public service announcement. Please share with your girlfriends as appropriate.

Percy Harvin Seahawks

Mercy, Percy: Seahawks’ Percy Harvin injury may be season-ending

Falcons family, don’t disown me. But for several years, I’ve had a bit of a soft spot for the Seattle Seahawks, mostly because my sister is a Seattleite. This off season, I had yet another reason to be down for the Seahawks: possibly my favorite all-time Florida Gator, Percy Harvin, was traded to Seattle from the Minnesota Vikings in March.

I was ecstatic to be able to root for him this coming season. I mean, what female sports fanatic wouldn’t want to root for this?

Percy Harvin
Percy Harvin, courtesy of Baller Alert (www.balleralert.com)

But now it appears Harvin’s hip injury could have what may be season-ending surgery.

“He’s really frustrated because he wants to play so bad,” Carroll told reporters with The News Tribune in Seattle. “It’s killing him not to be out there. But we just have to be really smart about it. And because it’s so early, we have a lot of time, and we’re going to utilize it.”

Trust me, Percy, it’s killing me for you to not be out there, too. Here’s hoping for an option that will allow Percy to play. Then again, if he’s not able to play this season, I’d be happy to supervise his training here in Atlanta…

Percy Harvin
Percy Harvin at UF, courtesy of Baller Alert (www.balleralert.com)